Additional Reasons Why The Buffalo Bills Traded Marcel Dareus
By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Sports Humorist
Comedian Jeff Wozer has uncovered some additional reasons why the Bills traded Marcell Dareus to Jacksonville on Friday.
- Never once did he mark “like” for a Terry Pegula Facebook post.
- He claimed Applebee’s had better wings than the Anchor Bar.
- He had the same mailing address as Paula’s Donuts.
- During autograph sessions he always signed his name as Maryalice Demler.
- He always called Kim Terry and Terry Kim.
- Management finally got wise to Marcel always arriving to practice drinking out of a salt-rimmed coffee mug.
- On team flights that Kim Pegula flew on he always knowingly left the toilet seat up.
- Management grew tired of him stealing the team’s supply of smelling salt ampules to hand out to trick-or-treaters.
- While Marshawn Lynch championed Beast Mode, Marcel Dareus championed Feast Mode.
- Management thought it would be funny to trade him to the Jags and then claim Jags was an acronym for Jack Ass Goes South.
Jeff Wozer provides a humorous take on our sometimes painful Buffalo sports scene. Read his other stories here.