Biggest Complaints of Rochester American Players

by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Sabres top prospects play in Rochester for the AHL’s Americans. It’s not quite the NHL.  Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has discovered the top complaints of Americans players.

• Foreign players miffed to learn playing for Americans doesn’t allow them to vote.

• Three words: Utica, New York.

• Bus ride headaches from hockey bag fumes.

• Team captain Kevin Porter, in a case of mistaken identity, now gets trolled online by Red Skull.

• Restroom at Junius Ponds rest area is always out of paper hand towels.

• Even Toronto Marlies players don’t know what a Marlie is.

• Expected to know all of the words to Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA.

• Bus driver is always in too much of a hurry to stop at Port Byron’s Old Erie Canal Heritage Park.

• Vibrant Binghamton, New York nightlife always distracts team’s game focus.

• The team’s bus mechanic doubles as the team’s nutritionist.

• Players who don’t get called up to Sabres feel as if they wasted money on an EZ Pass.

For more of Jeff’s humorous observations on Buffalo Sports, visit his author’s section on Buffalo Sports Page.

 

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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