Biggest Pet Peeves of Buffalo Sabre’s Mascot Sabretooth
by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
You might think being a NHL team mascot is a great job. But like many jobs, even Sabretooth has some parts of the work that bother him. Buffalo Sports Page humorist has discovered the top pet peeves of the Sabres mascot.
- When carpooling to special events with Lauren Hall she always tosses empty beer cans out car window.
- Often mistaken for Tony the Tiger leaving fans disappointed when he refuses to say, “They’re great!”
- Buffalo’s lame mascot dating scene.
- Sesame Street’s Hard Rock Cafe for falsely accusing him of starting an 8-Muppet brawl.
- Tiger stripes make his ass look big.
- New York’s law requiring a 7-day waiting period for buying a t-shirt gun.
- Inability to speak makes fans believe he’s intolerably aloof.
- His poly-cotton twill fur causes tattoo pens to clog.
- No one ever refers to him by his real name – Seth Leibowitz.
- Lack of opposable thumbs makes it difficult for hitchhiking a ride home after games.
- Mr. Met always applying pressure on him to go in on a mascot ponzi scheme.
- Buffalo Zoo tigers won’t acknowledge him after refusing their demands to conceal a hacksaw in a deer carcass.
- Doesn’t like hockey.
For more of Jeff’s humorous observations on Buffalo sports, visit his author’s section on Buffalo Sports Page.