Biggest Surprises Jason Pominville has Discovered Since Returning to the Buffalo Sabres

By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

Sports comedian Jeff Wozer is sensing that Jason Pominville may be surprised by what’s happened in Buffalo during his four years in Minnesota.

  • When you press the stomach of the downtown Tim Horton statue Bavarian cream oozes out of its ear holes.
  • Brian Duff and Doug Allen are the same person.
  • Ryan O’Reilly’s beard is home to three barn owls.
  • After every Sabres’ victory Rick Jeanneret hosts a kegger in an empty grain silo.
  • When the Maple Leafs play in Buffalo Sabretooth has the okay to pistol whip any Toronto fan with t-shirt gun.
  • If you get scratched more than three games in a row the Pegula daughter’s Healthy Scratch restaurant names a cold pressed juice after you.
  • When Ryan O’Reilly skates with his mouth open the gap from his missing front tooth creates a really cool whistling sound.
  • In a cost-saving measure team nutritionist before games serves carrots stolen from neighborhood snowmen.
  • Rob Ray lives in the USS Little Rock’s engine room.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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