By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has his finger on the playoff pulse of WNY. He’s noticed how Bills fans, near and far, are fired up for the first playoff game since 1999. Here are his top signs that the Bills postseason drought is over.
• Standard Bills fan New Year’s resolution to stop waking Monday morning hungover and reeking of Bison Dip temporarily put on hold.
• Bishop Malone has been working the phones trying to get a deacon to sub for him on Sunday.
• CNN’s Wolf Blitzer stencils into his beard “Bills Kick Ass.”
• Buffalo News reporter Mike Harrington has been distracted from tweeting hourly photos of empty seats at World Junior Hockey tournament.
• Bills mafia names Andy Dalton a goodfella.
• The “John Murphy Show” is renamed “The Playoff Situation Room with John Murphy.”
• Pegula Sports and Entertainment temporarily distracted from plan to own every team in the world.
• Two Bills Drive forum members irate with Bills for ruining chances at drafting a franchise quarterback.
• Tiger Woods received the following text from Jack Nicklaus: “Kegger at my house this Sunday!”
• Terry Pegula cancelled scheduled appearance in charity donkey basketball game.
• Paramedics rushed to Buffalo News reporter Jerry Sullivan’s house after he collapses from going 24 hours without being cynical.
• Local boy CBS Evening News anchor Jeff Glor devotes the entire Friday newscast to the weird guy who dresses as Elvis at Bills games.