By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

As the Buffalo Sabres sit in last place in the Eastern Conference, their chances of making the playoffs are pretty low.  They are currently eight points behind the next worst team.  With those odds in mind, Buffalo Sports Page comedian Jeff Wozer has researched what else has the same similar statistical probability of the Sabres making the playoffs.

    • Marty Biron answering a question in under 500 words.
    • Cloud 9 Smokes & Vapors becoming the official Vapor Store of the Buffalo Bills.
    • Local TV news anchors and meteorologists retiring and actually staying retired.
    • Watching ESPN and seeing a hockey highlight.
    • Asking for a pound of cold cuts at Wegmans and the deli clerk not asking, “Is it okay if it’s a little over?”
    • Not sensing disdain from WGR’s Mike Schopp when a caller begins with “How are you doing?”
    • Someone visiting Niagara Falls for the first time and not being told, “The Canadian side is nicer.”
    • Carl Paladino reveals he’s Olaf Fub.
    • Watching ESPN longer than 20 seconds without seeing a basketball highlight
    • Rob Ray becoming the spokesperson for kitchen countertops…Oh wait, that already happened. There is hope.


















Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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