Top Ways the Bills Can Annoy Bill Belichick this Weekend

by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

– Before every third and 10 situation Tyrod Taylor faces, request a measurement.

  • – Hold a holiday craft fair inside Patriot’s Injury Protocol tent.

– Switch Belichick’s challenge flag with a penalty flag and then wait for the hilarity to begin.

– Pay the Patriot’s bus driver to lie that a new NFL law mandates that all visiting teams, before arriving at New Era Field, must pay homage to Roger Goodell by seeing where he grew up in Jamestown.

– Before gaining access to visiting team’s locker room require Belichick to pay a $500 security deposit.

ï Cause at least a 10-minute delay after every Bills choreographed touchdown celebration in order to clear the field of floats, confetti, and white doves.

– During halftime, position Christmas carolers outside Patriots locker room.

– Claim they donated the Patriot’s Injury Protocol tent to Toys for Tots forcing them to use a makeshift blanket fort consisting of two sofas and a flannel sheet.

– Hire a Salvation Army bell ringer to stand next to Patriot’s Gatorade table.

– Claim it’s common for them to allow the guy who dresses as Elvis access to the visiting team’s bathroom.

  • – Have Woody sneak into Pats locker room overnight and re-attach the sleeves to his hoodie.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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