Odd Things Overheard During Buffalo’s Annual Turkey Trot Race

by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Turkey Trot is an annual Buffalo tradition.  It brings out a diverse group of runners.  This year, Buffalo Sports Page humorist Jeff Wozer relays some odd things heard during the race.

• “How come instead of a number my race bib has a lobster?”

• “It’s difficult to discern the spectators from the hookers.”

• “This Gatorade sports gravy is low on electrolytes.”

• “Instead of trophies this year top finishers get first dibs at lost & found bin.”

• “I hear some 79 year old runners are lying about their ages so as to mop up in the 80 & over age category.”

• “I would have beat last year’s time had I not mistook Allen Street crime scene tape for finish line.”

• “I think someone put a roofie in my Power Gel.”

• “Parking is limited due to huge crowds lining up for Black Friday pawn shop deals.”

• “Someone in the mayor’s office window is mooning us.”

• “How come the race official is using a starter gun with filed-off serial numbers?”

• “The post-race party is serving micro-baster IPA gravy.”

For more sports humor from Jeff Wozer, visit his author’s section at Buffalo Sports Page.

 

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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