Top Sales Pitch Benefits Sabres GM Jason Botterill Will Stress to Lure Free Agents
By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Sports Humorist
- • Each player, during home games, receives five free 50/50 raffle tickets.
• Area’s cloudy weather saves money on sunblock and sunglasses.
• Every Sunday edition of the Buffalo News offers more than $100 in coupon savings.
• Sign or we’ll give your phone number to Carl Paladino.
• During stoppage in play players can submit song requests.
• Chartered team plane never requires tray tables to be in in full upright position.
• Stanley Cup Parade route will include Fantasy Island so players can watch Wild West Shootout.
• All Sabres players when shopping at Tops receive two extra Monopoly game tickets.
• During Florida swing Terry Pegula lets you borrow his yacht to impress babes.
• Free Canalside ice skate rentals.
• Five words: Yancy’s Fancy artisan smelling salts.
• During extended road trips Kim Pegula will water your houseplants.
• Locker room is within walking distance of Shark Girl.
• If your legs ever feel knotty we have an in with that veins, veins, veins Venous Institute doctor-guy.
• After singing the national anthem’s” Home of the Brave” line we’ll ask singer Doug Allen to point to you.