Top Sales Pitch Benefits Sabres GM Jason Botterill Will Stress to Lure Free Agents

By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Sports Humorist

  • • Each player, during home games, receives five free 50/50 raffle tickets.
    • Area’s cloudy weather saves money on sunblock and sunglasses.
    • Every Sunday edition of the Buffalo News offers more than $100 in coupon savings.
    • Sign or we’ll give your phone number to Carl Paladino.
    • During stoppage in play players can submit song requests.
    • Chartered team plane never requires tray tables to be in in full upright position.
    • Stanley Cup Parade route will include Fantasy Island so players can watch Wild West Shootout.
    • All Sabres players when shopping at Tops receive two extra Monopoly game tickets.
    • During Florida swing Terry Pegula lets you borrow his yacht to impress babes.
    • Free Canalside ice skate rentals.
    • Five words: Yancy’s Fancy artisan smelling salts.
    • During extended road trips Kim Pegula will water your houseplants.
    • Locker room is within walking distance of Shark Girl.
    • If your legs ever feel knotty we have an in with that veins, veins, veins Venous Institute doctor-guy.
    • After singing the national anthem’s” Home of the Brave” line we’ll ask singer Doug Allen to point to you.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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