Top Signs A Bills Rookie Won’t Make The Team
By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Sports Humorist
With team roster cuts approaching here are the top signs a Bills rookie probably won’t make the team:
- Leaves early from practice to work the afternoon shift at Mighty Taco.
- While appearing on the John Murphy Show refers to “Murph” as Kevin O’Connell.
- During paint ball team bonding exercise uses Kim Pegula as a human shield.
- After getting penalized in Eagle’s game asks Ed Hochuli if he can keep the flag as a memento.
- Upon signing rookie contract with Bills he thanks the team for bringing him one step closer to his boyhood dream of one day playing for the Patriots.
- Spotted paying St. John Fisher dorm R.A. hush money.
- When asked to share his life story before teammates he reveals his two biggest dislikes in life are people who like wrestling and people who cheer for Penn State.
- Four plays into his first preseason game he requests a medical cart for chapped lips.
- Uses huddles to espouse crazy conspiracy theories on why the Buffalo Bison’s celery character has never won a race.
- Overbearing parents confront coach McDermott in New Era Field parking lot asking why their son isn’t playing more.
- Spotted at Olive Garden dining with a tackling dummy.
- Misses practice for personal reasons but is spotted later that same day at the Erie County Fair sharing an Orange Julius with the bearded lady.
- Seen high-fiving Buffalo News reporter Jerry Sullivan.
- Ignores Leslie Frazier’s Facebook friend request.
- Despite repeated warnings from coach McDermott he looks at solar eclipse without NFL sanctioned Solar Eclipse glasses.
- Often seen wearing a Ville Leino Sabres jersey.
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