War of 1812 Football Prognostication: Week Eight 2018
Every year, Bob Gaughan & Mr. Brutal engage in a cross border competition of picking each week’s NFL games against each other with unknown, yet very high stakes on the line for the year end.
………… Sunday, October 22, 2018 ……………..
…………… 9:30 am Eastern Standard Time ……………
Philadelphia (-3) @ JACKSONVILLE 41.5
( Wembley Stadium, London, England )
The Jaguars are starting QB Blake “Bloke” Bortles this week after benching him half way through his self-destructive performance last week. That’s kind of like opening your refrigerator, sampling the milk and realizing immediately that it has turned bad and incredibly sour. Thinking outside the box, you place it back into the fridge and hope that tomorrow when you open the door again, that it will be edible.
Bortles is 3-0 in Great Britain, but the Eagles have to win.
Mr. Brutal: Eagles -3
Bob: Eagles -3
…………. 1:00 pm Eastern Standard Time ……………..
New York J-e-t-s, Jets! Jets! Jets! @ CHICAGO (-8) 46
Khalil Mack played hurt last week in the near loss to the hated, disease pathogen carrying Patriots. He had only one tackle and they still came within a “Hail Mary” of beating the evil New England Patriots. He should be healthier this week. The Jets offense is struggling and they should cover a touchdown with their excellent defense. We think the Bears, QB Mitch Trubisky and his 1970’s porn star moustache will win but it will be close.
Mr. Brutal: Jets +8
Bob: Jets +8
Tampa Bay @ CINCINNATI (-3.5) 54
Our “Team of Destiny” for 2018 has been designated that before by us, but this is the year the Bengals finally break on through to the other side and win a playoff game ( apologies to The Doors for the sampled, paraphrased lyric ).
Mr. Brutal: BENGALS -3.5
Bob: Bengals -3.5
Seattle @ DETROIT (-3) 49.5
The Seahawks are coming in off the bye against the very inconsistent Detroit Lions. In other Motor City related news, NBC news-person and hemophiliac ( according to President Trump), Megyn Kelly got into a lot of trouble this week for wearing blackface in an attempt to portray the recently departed Aretha Franklin as her Halloween costume. Her morning show was cancelled. At first she justified it by showing a remarkable lack of cultural awareness, then she apologized and said she was not better informed, but it was too late to save her job.
Look, nobody loves excessive political correctness that doesn’t take into account the motives, naivete & ignorance of the perpetrator. We have no love for Ms. Kelly, who for years worked at FOX News, perpetuating the unabashed party line of the GOP with the same zeal and uncritical thinking that Pravda & Tass undertook spreading the propaganda of the Soviet Union’s Communist Party.
Despite that, we tend to believe that Megyn Kelly was naive and just wanted to pay tribute to the late Queen of Soul from Detroit because she was a genuine fan.
We aren’t naive when it comes to Michigan football. We can’t trust Detroit to put two quality back-to-back efforts together, so we are going to take Seattle.
Mr. Brutal: Seahawks +3
Bob: Detroit -3
Denver @ KANSAS CITY (-10) 55.5
Another case where we resist the obvious and instead take the divisional rival coming off a bye to cover a big spread against a great team with defensive flaws who is bound to finally put out a sub-par performance.
Mr. Brutal: Broncos +10
Bob: KC -10
Washington @ NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS (-1)
Recently, pop star diva Rhianna revealed that she turned down the Super Bowl halftime show in sympathy with QB Colin Kaepernick’s black balling by the NFL. We can only assume that this is true, because the NFL hasn’t disputed it. Now there is social media pressure on Maroon Five to pull out of the halftime show and follow the social justice lead of the Barbadian singer and pull out.
Fat chance! The money is too big and besides, ….. where else can you make so much money to perform, pose & presume an Auto Tune, lip sync and electronically octave enhanced set that is at best a 20% live performance.
The Giants traded away two more important starters with long term contracts this week after their Monday Night Football fail in Hotlanta. They have been jettisoning more cargo than a 16th Century tall ship caught in the doldrums of the horse latitudes in the Sargasso Sea. The tank job is in full Panzer/Blitzkrieg swing, the only shoe left to drop is whether QB Eli Manning waives his no-trade contract and ends up in Jacksonville with Tom Coughlin.
Mr. Brutal: The District of Columbia football club +1
Bob: Redskins +1
Cleveland @ PITTSBURGH (-8.5) 51
The NFL admitted this week that a vicious helmet-to-helmet hit on Cleveland QB Baker Mayfield should have been called in last week’s 26-23 overtime loss in Tampa. The personal foul would have given them a first down and put them in field goal range to win the game. The Browns, with any luck would be 6-1 instead of 2-4-1, but after decades of ineptitude, the fans are reluctant to cry foul and conspiracy against the officiating.
For decades, many have felt that the Pittsburgh Steelers have benefited from conspiracies and extremely favourable officiating as the NFL’s teacher’s pet ( That Super Bowl win over the Seahawks still rubs us and an ancient Money Line wager the wrong way ). So far this season, the Steelers are the most penalized team in the league, so we expect the officials to start easing up to even that out over the year to aid them in advancing into the playoffs.
Last week Pittsburgh escaped Cincinnati with a winning final drive that they shouldn’t have needed due to their statistical domination. Even when the Browns were winless and stuck in purgatory for decades they often gave the Steelers a game and covered these big spreads, so the much improved 2018 team should be able to do the same.
Mr. Brutal: Browns +8.5
Bob: Browns +8.5
Baltimore (-1.5) @ CAROLINA 43
We had political drama last week in Philly when Panthers’ safety Eric Reid physically confronted the Eagles’ Malcolm Jenkins on the field before the game over players’ union issues that revolved around the Kaepernick debacle. Cam Newton had previously mentioned that he didn’t mind Reid’s controversial views, …. just as long as they weren’t a distraction ( what a deep thinking captain ). Well Reid and his views certainly were a distraction last week, and maybe they even helped inspire the Panthers to overcome a 17 point deficit and win in the City of Brotherly Love.
That means the typical, one week good, one week bad Panthers will lay an egg this week against the angry Ravens who lost a tough one at home against Drew Breeezzzze and the Saints.
Mr. Brutal: Ravens -1.5
Bob: Ravens -1.5
…………… 4:05 pm – 4:25 pm Eastern Standard Time ………..
Indianapolis (-1) @ OAKLAND 49.5
The “Black Hole of Calcutta” or a “Black Hole in the Universe,” take your pick, ….. that’s what the next one and a half years are going to be like for the fans of the Raiders for their last days residing in Oakland. With WR Amari Cooper being traded to Dallas last week, LB Khalil Mack jettisoned to the Bears at the start of the year, RB Marshawn Lynch on the DL and QB Derek Carr twisting in the doghouse of “genius” head coach Chucky Gruden, …… sigh, you just have to take the Colts.
Mr. Brutal: Colts -1
Bob: Colts -1
Green Bay @ LOS ANGELES RAMS (-9) 57
This is one man against the Rams. With that spread we’ll back “Gladiator” Aaron Rodgers to cover against the Rams in the ancient “Coliseum” in Los Angeles.
Mr. Brutal: Packers +9
Bob: Rams -9
San Francisco (-1.5) @ ARIZONA 43.5
We figure that new OC Byron Leftwich can only help and inspire rookie QB Josh Rosen of the Cardinals. At Marshall, freshman Leftwich once shocked senior quarterback Chad Pennington by dropping to his knees at his own forty yard line and throwing the football 70 yards through the far goal posts. Arizona has the receivers to develop a deep game and maybe now they’ll also stop running RB David Johnson between the tackles and bounce him outside.
Rosen has welcomed Leftwich’s promotion so we sense some optimism in the desert.
Mr. Brutal: CARDINALS +1.5
Bob: Cardinals +1.5
………….. 8:20 pm Eastern Standard Time …………….
New Orleans @ MINNESOTA (-1.5) 52.5
Another marquee Sunday night match-up that shows just what you get when your network pays top dollar per year to the shield ( 950 million to 1.9 billion through 2021 ). We’re still not convinced that this Viking team can beat good teams. Now the question is, even the Saints picking up Giants’ cornerback Eli Apple and playing more consistently, ….. are the Saints a good team?
Mr. Brutal: Saints +1.5
Bob: Saints +1.5
………… Monday, October 23, 2018 ………………..
………….. 8:20 pm Eastern Standard Time …………….
New England (-14) @ BUFFALO 44.5
God what a wild, rampaging dumpster-tire-fire this season has turned out to be for the Buffalo Bills ( as we all reasonably expected it would probably be ). How can anybody believe that retrieving one time QB Derek Anderson from the budget witness protection programme working at a lumber yard in his home town of Scappoose, Oregon will be a positive?
I’m sure the one time Pro Bowler appreciates the pay bump, but we have yet to find a single fan in the entire universe who thought his signing could help this team.
Unless the Pegulas have decreed from on high that tank mode has officially been invoked, ……. Call Colin Kaepernick! ….. or Billy Joe Gun-Rack Hobart.
We’re hoping for cold, fog, snow, rain and an act of Divine Intervention that will lead to a back door cover of two touchdowns.
Mr. Brutal: BILLS +14
Bob: New England -14
Bye: Atlanta, Dallas, Tennessee, Los Angeles Chargers
Last Week: Mr. Brutal: 3-8-1
Year-to-Date: Mr. Brutal: 47-48-2