By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
Rochester native Brian Gionta is the captain of Team USA, which will begin Olympic play in South Korea. Last year, he was the captain of the Buffalo Sabres. Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has uncovered the biggest differences that Gionta has noticed between captaining the Sabres and serving as captain of Team USA.
- US players not distracted on the bench by Rob Ray’s usual overdose of Old Spice cologne.
- Since being nicknamed “Captain America” receives non-stop junk e-mails from the Justice League.
- Captain of US team gets him access to NBC host Mike Tirico’s nightly keg parties.
- Extra time needed before meals in South Korea to tape chopsticks.
- Must constantly reassure younger players that Godzilla only carries a grudge with Japan.
- Unlike Canadian border guards, North Korean border guards won’t let you pass after saying, “I’m a friend of Rick Jeanneret.”
- Easier to focus on playing without the added pressure of being designated a Moe’s Hot Player of the Game.
- Receives nightly prank phone calls from Kim Jong-un asking if his refrigerator is running.
- Not badgered before and after games by Brian Duff wanting to know if Lauren Hall asked about him.
- Annoyed with Bauer and CCM for failing on their promises to provide the team with composite chopsticks.
For more of Jeff humorous takes on Buffalo sports, visit his author’s section at Buffalo Sports Page.