by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
Buffalo native Emily Pfalzer is now a gold medalist, thanks to the USA women’s hockey team’s victory over Canada early Thursday morning. Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has discovered that some perks go with winning the gold.
• Invited to attend a Sabres game and slam a door or two with Jason Botterill.
• Katie Couric asked her to go in on a Pyeongchang timeshare.
• City of Buffalo announced a parade in her honor but then canceled it over concerns of someone drowning in a pothole.
— Sam Korotkin (@SamKorotkin) February 22, 2018
• Channel 4’s Don Postles friended her on Facebook.
• Pressured by agent to change her name to “Niagara Pfalzer.”
• Gets to now call Terry Pegula by his nickname “Pegs.”
• In her honor February 24th is declared “Don’t Pronounce the First Letter in Your Last Name Day” by Mayor Brown.
• Congressman Chris Collins invites her to join him on “Dancing With the Stars.”
• Schopp & the Bulldog invite her on to their show under the promise Schopp won’t ask if she has any questions for him.