by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has sources who have revealed to him the top things overhead inside the Bills Draft Room during the three days of the NFL Draft.

• “Turn off the lights! Here comes the Buffalo News Jerry Sullivan!”

• “I say this with all due respect Kim and Terry, but this isn’t a make-out room.”

• “The Weather Channel is the only station not carrying the NFL Draft.”

• “You can’t hear our pick over all of the noise, Mr. Commissioner? One sec – Sean stop clapping!”

• “When asked about Josh Rosen The Magic 8 Ball says, ‘My reply is no’ – we’re taking Allen.”

• “Sal Capaccio sounds like the name of a Carrabba’s pasta dish.”

• “ESPN just announced tomorrow it will reveal a special 2050 NFL mock draft based on athletes not born yet.”

• “Get Raymour & Flanigan on the phone and tell them we ordered NFL Draft War Room chairs not Situation Room chairs.”

• “If we move up to the 16th pick that will give us time to catch the 10:30 showing of The Avengers.”

• “Good call on sending Russ Brandon in search of a left-handed whiteboard eraser. Now remember: if the Allen pick fails we blame him.”

 

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

Leave a Reply