by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
This past week, the Pegula’s purchased the Rochester indoor lacrosse franchise. So starting in 2019, they will own the Buffalo Bandits and the Rochester Knighthawks. That unusual arragement got sports humorist Jeff Wozer thinking about the benefits that will come from owning two teams in the same league.
• More say in pressuring league to allow midfielders to roam the box on angry ostriches.
• Can sell KeyBank Center’s leftover concession food at Rochester Knighthawk games.
• According to his attorney, owning two professional indoor lacrosse teams waives him from jury duty.
• Can now get a bulk rate on lacrosse balls.
• Driving back and forth between Buffalo and Rochester allows him to master the Clarence highway rest stop’s claw machine.
• Gets first dibs on donuts at the league’s owner meetings.
• Team with worst record must cut his lawn.
• Keeps Kim occupied allowing him to devote more time to scrapbooking.
• Can finally use his buy 2 professional indoor lacrosse teams get 1 free online coupon.
• Convinced this will finally sway Channel 2’s Maryalice Demler to accept his Facebook friend request.