by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

This past week, the Pegula’s purchased the Rochester indoor lacrosse franchise.  So starting in 2019, they will own the Buffalo Bandits and the Rochester Knighthawks.  That unusual arragement got sports humorist Jeff Wozer thinking about the benefits that will come from owning two teams in the same league.

• More say in pressuring league to allow midfielders to roam the box on angry ostriches.

• Can sell KeyBank Center’s leftover concession food at Rochester Knighthawk games.

• According to his attorney, owning two professional indoor lacrosse teams waives him from jury duty.

• Can now get a bulk rate on lacrosse balls.

• Driving back and forth between Buffalo and Rochester allows him to master the Clarence highway rest stop’s claw machine.

• Gets first dibs on donuts at the league’s owner meetings.

• Team with worst record must cut his lawn.

• Keeps Kim occupied allowing him to devote more time to scrapbooking.

• Can finally use his buy 2 professional indoor lacrosse teams get 1 free online coupon.

• Convinced this will finally sway Channel 2’s Maryalice Demler to accept his Facebook friend request.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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