by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Buffalo Bills recently took their rookie class to a local school, and a trip to the New Era Cap headquarters. It’s all part of getting them used to living and working in WNY.  But sports humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered the top rejected ideas of Bills management for getting those new players familiar with Buffalo.

• Man a table at the Williamsville Farmers Market selling expired jars of Tyler Ennis’s Enzo Sauce.

• Borrow the Pegulas’ cars for Lancaster Speedway’s weekly Cruise Night.

• Try to cross into Canada using fake IDs.

• Toss water balloons from an adjacent building at Kevin O’Connell during his rooftop weather forecast.

• Man a booth at the Allentown Art Festival selling crap made from popsicle sticks.

• Air local TV promos wishing the U.S. good luck in this year’s World Cup soccer tournament.

• Endear themselves at this year’s Albion Strawberry Festival wearing “Blueberries Suck” t-shirts.

• Get loaded on growlers of Labatt’s and then heckle Fantasy Island’s Wild West Shootout actors.

• File a trademark for “If I hear respect the process one more time I will pierce my eardrums with a meat thermometer.”

• Lobby Congressman Brian Higgins to include in Buffalo’s Outer Harbor development plan a Hooters.

Jeff has been busy, discovering signs that you’ve joined a bad country club and that you’re kid has a bad Little League coach.

 

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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