By Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
After a disappointing trade deadline, an unsatisfying return for Evander Kane and a season that will be yet another at the bottom of the NHL, sports comedian Jeff Wozer has seen signs that everyone in the Sabres organization is going through the motions.
• Zamboni driver has now gone 11 straight games resurfacing ice with the Zamboni’s check engine light on.
• Players ask officials if they can play 60 minutes of running time.
• Sabretooth spends games sitting by itself in empty 302 corner section doing word search puzzles.
• Two of the three designated Moe’s Hot Players of the games are goalies.
• Doug Allen sings national anthems wearing shower sandals.
• Buffalo’s PA announcer is now routinely 20 to 30 seconds late announcing one minute left in the period.
• Team no longer bothers to freeze pucks before games keeping them instead in locker room fridge’s crisper drawer.
• Zamboni resurfaces ice using concession stands’ boiled hot dog water.
• On Fan Appreciation Night team hands out umbrellas that suspiciously resemble Wegman’s courtesy umbrellas.
• To staunch player’s bleeding team physician uses Dunkin Donut napkins.
Jeff Wozer also discovered some of Rick Jeanneret’s pet peeves.