by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
Buffalo’s Emily Pfalzer is a member of the USA Olympic Women’s Hockey team competing in South Korea at the Winter Olympics. According to sports comedian Jeff Wozer, Pfalzer has discovered some shocking surprises during her time in Pyeongchang.
• Her Tops Bonus Card gets her immediate access to any Olympic Village party.
• NBC Olympic host Mike Tirico moonlights on a Midwest wrestling circuit under the name “The Michigan Mangler.”
• Terry Pegula offered her a $25 finders fee if she hears of any new teams he can buy.
• Instead of Timbits North Korea Tim Horton’s sell Kimbits.
• Curling athletes get mad when you use their brooms to sweep dorm room floors.
• Top selling DVD at Olympic Village gift shop: Kim Jong-un’s 20-Minute Pilates Workout.
• Her New York state E-ZPass works at the North Korea border.
• NBC’s Katie Couric sleeps in a bobsled.
• Even the South Korea press asks, “What was up with that weird Eric Woods retirement press conference?”
• Kim Jong-un’s sister kicks ass in beer pong.
Jeff also wrote about what former Sabres captain Brian Gionta is experiencing during his time at the Olympics.