by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Masters begins Thursday at Augusta National Golf Club.  The course is probably the most beautiful in the country, and the tournament is the biggest of the four majors.  Augusta National has the most exclusive membership of any country club, and the tournament is treated with that level of reverence.

With that said, sports humorist Jeff Wozer found some surprising things about the course and the tournament.

  • Robert Mueller has proof of Russian meddling with Tiger Wood’s back.
    Players who display proof of a signed golf card at any local Winn Dixie receive 10% off on Swanson frozen dinners.
    Public restrooms feature stacks of old wrestling magazines.
    Vatican is suing Augusta for trademark rights to Amen Corner.
    Caddies can now jab disruptive fans in the necks with golf pencils.
    To offset travel costs Phil Mickelson sells stolen Augusta range balls on eBay.
    Following a two-day Metamucil bender Fred Couples was found Wednesday morning naked in Rae’s Creek.
    This year’s winner will get to choose between a green jacket or a $50 Red Lobster gift card.
    Younger tour members are petitioning Augusta officials to switch from green jackets to green board shorts.

Read Jeff Wozer’s top surprises for the start of the Buffalo Bisons season.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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