by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
While he’s busy running the Bills and the Sabres and the Beauts and the Harborcenter and 716 and the Labatt Brew House, Terry Pegula still has some time for New Year’s resolutions. Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has uncovered what the billionaire owner wants to do in 2019.
• Seek help for compulsive team buying disorder.
• Remember to leave driveway entrance gate open in case the Publish Clearing House Prize Patrol needs to reach him.
• Have tires rotated on private jet.
• Put foot down and tell Brian Duff he can no longer live in his basement.
• Get bit by a radioactive spider and become a super hero.
• Use the birthday gift Sean McDermott gave him, a $25 dollar Cracker Barrel gift card, before it expires.
• Change home’s security code number to stop John Murphy from coming over uninvited to use sauna.
• Head the NFL owners Social Committee and push for a toga party.
• Remove “Justin Bieber Kicks Ass” chest tattoo.
• Rename “One Buffalo” to “Pegula’s Planet of Perspiring Players.”