by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
The UB Football team is off to their best start in over 50 years. That has sports humorist Jeff Wozer thinking of some fun ways that the Bulls are enticing those high level players who have propelled the team to an 8-1 start.
• $50 Gift cards to Gary Pools.
• Makes them aware that Channel 4’s Jacquie Walker types term papers for only $10 per.
• Tuesday night games gives reason to blow off Wednesday classes.
• South campus within walking distance to Amherst neighborhood garage sales.
• Freshest Cheerios in the world.
• Every other year get to experience Akron, Ohio’s fall splendor.
• Lies that CBS plans to use UB football players as weekly extras in its new TV crime series “NCIS: Clarence.”
• On visits, recruits are allowed to take leaks off the Maid of the Mist.
• Emphasizes that UB alum Wolf Blitzer exclusively uses UB football players as his CNN newscast stunt doubles.
• Once a week Mayor Byron Brown uses his spacious car trunk to smuggle two randomly chosen UB football players into the Transit Drive-In.