by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
Bills cornerback Tre’Davious White has had some fun with his buddy, Sabres goalie Carter Sutton…or Hutton. It’s all led to a running gag called the “Tre’Davious White Goalie Academy of Louisiana.” Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has come up with the top features of the school. If it existed.
• Tips on how to dance to lame organ music.
• Butterfly save techniques taught by guest instructors from “Duck Dynasty.”
• Tips on how to boil crawfish on a Zamboni engine.
• Convincing goalies they’re athletes even though their only athletic skill is being good at not flinching.
• TV endorsement deal: acting lessons from restaurateur Russell Salvatore.
• Tips on how to fit Beats by Dre headphones over masks.
• Educating parents on how goalie equipment bag stench can cause a home’s property value to decrease by 70%.
• Cajun-style Gatorade.
• Video session showing why Washington’s Tom Wilson is no different than New England’s Rob Gronkowski when it comes to cheap shots.
• Three words: Mardi Gras beads.