by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

Bills cornerback Tre’Davious White has had some fun with his buddy, Sabres goalie Carter Sutton…or Hutton.  It’s all led to a running gag called the “Tre’Davious White Goalie Academy of Louisiana.”  Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has come up with the top features of the school.  If it existed.

• Tips on how to dance to lame organ music.

• Butterfly save techniques taught by guest instructors from “Duck Dynasty.”

• Tips on how to boil crawfish on a Zamboni engine.

• Convincing goalies they’re athletes even though their only athletic skill is being good at not flinching.

• TV endorsement deal: acting lessons from restaurateur Russell Salvatore.

• Tips on how to fit Beats by Dre headphones over masks.

• Educating parents on how goalie equipment bag stench can cause a home’s property value to decrease by 70%.

• Cajun-style Gatorade.

• Video session showing why Washington’s Tom Wilson is no different than New England’s Rob Gronkowski when it comes to cheap shots.

• Three words: Mardi Gras beads.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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