by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Sabres are set to start training camp in a few weeks.  One big offseason situation has not been addressed:  A new contract for restricted free agent Sam Reinhart.

Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered some of the reasons why the negotiations have stalled.

• Tuesday night games conflict with his Transit Lanes bowling league.

• Terry and Kim Pegula too distracted with securing a minor league affiliate for the Buffalo Beauts – the Rochester Cutes.

• After every home game Reinhart tired of having “Sabre Dance” stuck in his head.

• Sabres won’t budge on signing bonus offer of a $50 Applebee’s gift card.

• Reinhart keeps sabotaging negotiations by asking himself, “What would Dez Bryant do?”

• For the team’s next parents trip Sabres won’t allow him to instead take his imaginary friend Larry.

• Reinhart angry Canalside is building a Children’s Museum rather than a Hooters.

• The Sabres $30-million incentive offer if he wins the Vezina Trophy.

• Reinhart can’t get his attorney, Michael Cohen, to return his calls.

• Reinhart miffed that Bud Bailey never considered him in his “Buffalo Sports by the Numbers” piece for jersey #23.

Jeff has also uncovered why Jeff Skinner waived his no trade clause to come to Buffalo.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

Leave a Reply