by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Buffalo Sabres season ended Saturday night, with the team finishing in 31st and last place in the NHL.  It was a difficult head coaching debut for Phil Housley.

Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has discovered what Housley admits are his biggest mistakes in his first year.

• Never should have taken second job waiting tables at the Cheesecake Factory.

• Didn’t lobby Governor Cuomo to declare the KeyBank Center a disaster area.

• Too many late nights with Channel 4’s Don Postles painting graffiti on bridge overpasses.

• Didn’t heed Sean McDermott’s advice to clap incessantly.

• Instead of devising game plans devoted most of his energies towards making kick-ass road trip soundtracks.

• By the time he realized the importance of naming a team captain he had already sewn the “C” on his pajama top.

• Strained his relationship with Terry Pegula when he confessed he lied that he liked wrestling.

• To ease team concerns should have confronted Russian-born Victor Antipin about always talking in a low-voice to a hockey puck with an antenna.

• Only used game timeouts to point out hot-looking babes in the stands.

• By January lost incentive to win when Sean McDermott won their first-coach-to-make-the-playoffs bet buys lunch at the Olive Garden.

For more from Jeff Wozer, including the surprises he learned at the Masters, click here.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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