by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
The Buffalo Sabres season ended Saturday night, with the team finishing in 31st and last place in the NHL. It was a difficult head coaching debut for Phil Housley.
Sports comedian Jeff Wozer has discovered what Housley admits are his biggest mistakes in his first year.
• Never should have taken second job waiting tables at the Cheesecake Factory.
• Didn’t lobby Governor Cuomo to declare the KeyBank Center a disaster area.
• Too many late nights with Channel 4’s Don Postles painting graffiti on bridge overpasses.
• Didn’t heed Sean McDermott’s advice to clap incessantly.
• Instead of devising game plans devoted most of his energies towards making kick-ass road trip soundtracks.
• By the time he realized the importance of naming a team captain he had already sewn the “C” on his pajama top.
• Strained his relationship with Terry Pegula when he confessed he lied that he liked wrestling.
• To ease team concerns should have confronted Russian-born Victor Antipin about always talking in a low-voice to a hockey puck with an antenna.
• Only used game timeouts to point out hot-looking babes in the stands.
• By January lost incentive to win when Sean McDermott won their first-coach-to-make-the-playoffs bet buys lunch at the Olive Garden.
For more from Jeff Wozer, including the surprises he learned at the Masters, click here.