by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
On July 4th, Joey Chestnut set a new world record at the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest. Chestnut downed 74 dogs in 10 minutes. But all is not perfect in Joey’s world. As Buffalo Sports Page humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered, the champion eater has some pet peeves.
• Vegetarians keep keying his Weinermobile.
• No dating site for binge eating singles.
• Asterisk next to his chicken wings eating world record under false claim it was wind aided.
• Always forgets to save room for dessert.
• IRS audited him for claiming mustard as a deductible.
• Pope won’t take no for an answer to a communion wafer eating contest.
• Can’t suppress urge after sex to eat a candy cigarette.
• If you are what you eat he’s 78% chicken lips.
• Not being told he was eating turkey franks and then slipping into a tryptophan-induced coma.
• Mrs. Paul dumped him under ridiculous claim he only wanted her for her fish sticks.
• No longer invited to neighborhood barbecues.
For more of Jeff’s always fun takes on sports, check out his author’s page at Buffalo Sports Page.