by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

On July 4th, Joey Chestnut set a new world record at the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest.  Chestnut downed 74 dogs in 10 minutes.  But all is not perfect in Joey’s world.  As Buffalo Sports Page humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered, the champion eater has some pet peeves.

• Vegetarians keep keying his Weinermobile.

• No dating site for binge eating singles.

• Asterisk next to his chicken wings eating world record under false claim it was wind aided.

• Always forgets to save room for dessert.

• IRS audited him for claiming mustard as a deductible.

• Pope won’t take no for an answer to a communion wafer eating contest.

• Can’t suppress urge after sex to eat a candy cigarette.

• If you are what you eat he’s 78% chicken lips.

• Not being told he was eating turkey franks and then slipping into a tryptophan-induced coma.

• Mrs. Paul dumped him under ridiculous claim he only wanted her for her fish sticks.

• No longer invited to neighborhood barbecues.

For more of Jeff’s always fun takes on sports, check out his author’s page at Buffalo Sports Page.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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