by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

The Bills have hired a new offensive line coach.  Bobby Johnson takes the job of rebuilding one of the team’s most disappointing units.  But before he gets started on the football stuff, sports humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered other plans he has on his to-do list.

  • Ask Brandon Beane one more time, “You do realize I never coached with Carolina?”
  • Hire LeSean McCoy’s mom to help him move.
  • Steal ear pads from Colts’ football helmets to use as packing material.
  • Submit a change address notice to “Bald-Headed Assistant Coaches Illustrated” magazine.
  • Get assurances that if Bills win Super Bowl and get invited to the White House he does not have to eat fast food hamburgers.
  • Hire Budd Bailey to write his Wikipedia page.
  • Assure fired offensive line coach Juan Castillo he’ll feed the office goldfish.
  • To supplement income during training camp contact St. John Fisher about possible dorm RA job.
  • Bomb down Chestnut Ridge’s toboggan slope on a blocking sled.
  • Turn down John Murphy’s offer to go ice skating at Canalside.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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