by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
The Bills have hired a new offensive line coach. Bobby Johnson takes the job of rebuilding one of the team’s most disappointing units. But before he gets started on the football stuff, sports humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered other plans he has on his to-do list.
- Ask Brandon Beane one more time, “You do realize I never coached with Carolina?”
- Hire LeSean McCoy’s mom to help him move.
- Steal ear pads from Colts’ football helmets to use as packing material.
- Submit a change address notice to “Bald-Headed Assistant Coaches Illustrated” magazine.
- Get assurances that if Bills win Super Bowl and get invited to the White House he does not have to eat fast food hamburgers.
- Hire Budd Bailey to write his Wikipedia page.
- Assure fired offensive line coach Juan Castillo he’ll feed the office goldfish.
- To supplement income during training camp contact St. John Fisher about possible dorm RA job.
- Bomb down Chestnut Ridge’s toboggan slope on a blocking sled.
- Turn down John Murphy’s offer to go ice skating at Canalside.