by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

With the playoffs looking very unlikely, the offseason will start soon for the Sabres players.  If any of them are looking to be more romantic, sports humorist Jeff Wozer has come up with the top Sabres pick-up lines.

• I’m marrying material. Yesterday after practice I caught Zach Bogosian’s hockey garter belt.

• Come April you’ll have my full attention.

• The fact my wayward shot struck your kid in the throat is a sign we were meant together.

• Can I buy you a drink after autographing 4,000 pucks?

• I’m so sorry from watching me play you have the Cellino & Barnes jingle lodged in your brain.

• If all three of you leave with me our fellow bar patrons will toss hats on the floor.

• Sorry. I don’t know what made me say, “Want to go upstairs where momma hides the cookies?”

• Being named a Moe’s Hot Player has nothing to do with hockey.

• Do you come to the Veins Treatment Center often?

• If I were Tim Murray I’d trade everything away to be with you.

 

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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