by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

With Bills minicamp over, the rookies get about a month off to get ready for training camp.  The good thing for most of them is that their contracts are already done.  That means they must have a good agent.  But Buffalo Sports Page humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered some signs that would indicate a Bills rookie hired a bad agent.

• Negotiates a $12 incentive clause for tackling a streaker.

• Convinces player to adopt the Twitter handle @process-shmocess.

• Negotiates an endorsement deal with Goodwill.

• Every time player calls agent someone from Olive Garden answers and says, “Call back later he’s bussing tables.”

• Agent’s license looks suspiciously like a whited-out fishing license.

• Negotiates a no trade clause to the Ottawa Senators.

• Agent was the guy who encouraged Johnny Manziel to adopt the money sign gesture.

• Negotiates a signing bonus of free Radio Shack ear buds.

• Hires Roseanne as player’s social media coach.

• Before becoming an agent worked in Albuquerque, New Mexico as the lawyer for a teacher-turned-meth-kingpin.

Jeff has also discovered signs that you’ve joined a bad country club and signs your kid has a bad Little League coach.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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