by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
With Bills minicamp over, the rookies get about a month off to get ready for training camp. The good thing for most of them is that their contracts are already done. That means they must have a good agent. But Buffalo Sports Page humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered some signs that would indicate a Bills rookie hired a bad agent.
• Negotiates a $12 incentive clause for tackling a streaker.
• Convinces player to adopt the Twitter handle @process-shmocess.
• Negotiates an endorsement deal with Goodwill.
• Every time player calls agent someone from Olive Garden answers and says, “Call back later he’s bussing tables.”
• Agent’s license looks suspiciously like a whited-out fishing license.
• Negotiates a no trade clause to the Ottawa Senators.
• Agent was the guy who encouraged Johnny Manziel to adopt the money sign gesture.
• Negotiates a signing bonus of free Radio Shack ear buds.
• Hires Roseanne as player’s social media coach.
• Before becoming an agent worked in Albuquerque, New Mexico as the lawyer for a teacher-turned-meth-kingpin.