by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

It’s a painful reality for Buffalo football fans.  But with the news of Josh Allen being promoted to starting quarterback, it likely means the Bills won’t be a playoff team this season.  Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has found other signs that a Super Bowl trip won’t be happening.

• NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell waives drug testing for the Bills.

• Team signs streaker guy as a wide receiver.

• To add urgency to team’s offense, instead of two-minute warning Bills are issued a 14-minute warning.

• Terry Pegula texts Jon Bon Jovi, “Still interested?”

• Desperate for something positive McDermott tosses challenge flag after losing coin toss.

• Bills fans rush the field and topple both goal posts after team makes a first down.

• Independent Health announces it recognizes “being a Bills fan” as a preexisting health condition.

• Hurricane Spin Scrubber infomercial has better local TV ratings than Bills games.

• McDermott blames Baltimore loss on Russian interference.

• Pancho-Billa changes name to Pancho Packer-ito.

 

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

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