by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
It’s time for football. The great sports fans of WNY are ready for the NFL season to begin today. Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has seen signs that this town is really ready.
• Shark Girl Blocks Tom Brady on Twitter.
• Kim and Terry Pegula can be heard arguing over who gets to push the 3rd down train horn button.
• Local department stores sell Sean McDermott’s new designer cologne: “Process.”
• Singer Jennie Fagan keeps getting text messages from some guy named Russ B.
• Tonawanda coke plant colors its smoke emissions royal blue.
• Channel 2 News On Your Side looks into how is it two guys who wear chef hats can be classified as superfans.
• Hospital emergency rooms add extra staff on Sundays for pumping stomachs of Bison chip dip.
• Bed, Bath and Beyond changes its name to Bed, Bath and Folding Tables.
• Terry Pegula has gone into seclusion to prepare for his annual presentation to the stadium’s RV campers on the dangers of deer ticks.
• After every newscast Channel 4’s Don Postles dumps Gatorade over Jacquie Walker.