by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
It’s the big day, and most of America will watch the Patriots-Rams Super Bowl at lavish Big Game party. But sports humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered how you know you’re at a bad Super Bowl party.
• The party hosts asks your wife to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
• Chip dip tastes and smells like Crest toothpaste.
• Not even the second quarter and three times already the party has been flagged for too many men on the love seat.
• Salt from Kimmelweck rolls scraped off to melt the ice on front steps.
• Upon arriving you discover the party host is Amish.
• TV goes off at halftime and out of the next room comes meteorologist Don Paul with his karaoke machine.
• Host lost all of the money saved for the party on a Puppy Bowl side bet.
• Punxsutawney Phil is passed out face first in the onion dip.
• After you bite into diced carrot you notice the neighbor’s snowman’s nose is missing.
• Joey Chestnut makes a guest appearance and eats 193 Lipitor pills in 10 minutes.