by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

It’s the big day, and most of America will watch the Patriots-Rams Super Bowl at lavish Big Game party.  But sports humorist Jeff Wozer has discovered how you know you’re at a bad Super Bowl party.

• The party hosts asks your wife to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

• Chip dip tastes and smells like Crest toothpaste.

• Not even the second quarter and three times already the party has been flagged for too many men on the love seat.

• Salt from Kimmelweck rolls scraped off to melt the ice on front steps.

• Upon arriving you discover the party host is Amish.

• TV goes off at halftime and out of the next room comes meteorologist Don Paul with his karaoke machine.

• Host lost all of the money saved for the party on a Puppy Bowl side bet.

• Punxsutawney Phil is passed out face first in the onion dip.

• After you bite into diced carrot you notice the neighbor’s snowman’s nose is missing.

• Joey Chestnut makes a guest appearance and eats 193 Lipitor pills in 10 minutes.

Jeff Wozer

Nationally touring stand-up comedian Jeff Wozer has performed with some of comedy’s biggest acts – Martin Short, John Oliver, Brian Reagan – and on some of comedy’s biggest stages – Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Las Vegas strip, Great American Comedy Festival.

His humor articles have appeared in more than 40 publications including ESPN’s Active.com, Rocky Mountain Sports and the Explorer Club’s Explorer’s Journal.

Prior to veering into comedy he worked as a sports and news director for WFAD in Middlebury, Vermont where he won an Associated Press award for hockey play-by-play. And he spent two years as the play-by-play voice for the Vail Avalanche junior hockey team in Vail, Colorado.

Leave a Reply