by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
Friday in Las Vegas, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson will square off in a pay-per-view, head-to-head showdown for a winner-takes-all $9 million dollars. If that isn’t interesting enough, sports humorist Jeff Wozer has found some other ways to make this event more interesting.
• For an on-course announcer, use an over-caffeinated Kanye West.
• Loser for the next year must hire John Daly as his fashion consultant.
• Drive golf carts without brakes.
• Side bet on who can hit a drive through the kitchen window of some nearby rich guy’s house.
• No yelling fore to alert spectators.
• Loser at next year’s Masters must give CBS announcer Verne Lundquist a backrub.
• Anyone who shoots a double bogey gets punched in the spleen by Floyd Mayweather.
• Every other hole they must drink a new Gatorade flavor: Recalled Romaine Lettuce.
• Loser for the next season must use Philadelphia Flyer mascot, Gritty, as his caddy.
• Use snapping turtles as golf ball markers.