by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist
The UB Bulls men’s basketball team is up to 14th in the latest AP poll. With games next week against Syracuse and Marquette, they have a chance to climb even higher. The Bulls rise is a tribute to Head Coach Nate Oats. Now that he’s in the spotlight, sports humorist Jeff Wozer is learning what really bothers the Bulls boss.
• The nickname “Quaker.”
• Drunken middle-of-the-night phone calls from Dick Vitale yelling “Awesome baby!” and then hanging up.
• Goo Goo Dolls are too big to answer his fan mail letters.
• Players huddled around him during timeouts block views of the cheerleaders.
• Heated arguments with area waiters for referring to pop as soda.
• Media always asking when he’s going back on tour with Daryl Hall.
• Recruits more interested in Chippewa Street than in touring Millard Fillmore’s East Aurora house.
• Still no thank you note from UB president after bringing him back a souvenir shot glass from Ireland.
• His bobble-head doll looks more like Carl Paladino with a nervous twitch disorder.
• Wife uses net cut from 2018 MAC championship as a pot hot pad.