by Jeff Wozer, Buffalo Sports Page Humorist

We’re in the middle of a major winter storm.  But thankfully, the Sabres are playing in Dallas on Wednesday night.  But what might happen if the team had a home game?  Sports humorist Jeff Wozer has some ideas.

• Hospital emergency rooms jammed with scalpers being treated for frostbite.

• Sabres finally get chance to break out their Isotoner hockey gloves.

• Buffalo police patrol outside KeyBank Center in Canalside Bumper Cars.

• Marty Biron broadcasts from Brian Duff’s lap.

• US Border Patrol agents ask Canadians coming to game via the Peace Bridge only one question: “Would you mind blowing on my hands?”

• The only song KeyBank Center organist can play wearing mittens is Chopsticks.

• Instead of Polar Vortex locals refer to the bitter cold as a KeyBank Center Vortex.

• Game delayed after Carter Hutton’s tongue freezes to goalpost.

• Team physician rushes to injured players wearing a Saint Bernard whiskey barrel collar.

Paul Peck

Paul Peck is sports broadcaster with over 25 years experience in TV and Radio. He served as sports anchor, reporter, and producer at WIVB for 24 years. In that role, he covered all four Buffalo Bills Super Bowls, the Buffalo Sabres in the Stanley Cup Finals, the NCAA Basketball Tournament and the Daytona 500. He has been the Voice of the UB Bulls Football for 17 seasons, in addition to host of Bulls Athletics TV & Radio shows. Peck also served as the sideline reporter for the Buffalo Bills Football Network, host of the bowling show "Beat The Champ" and announces college basketball for ESPN 3 and Time Warner Cable Sports Channel. He has also been the Master of Ceremonies for the Greater Buffalo Sports Hall of Fame, one of the largest sports banquets in WNY.

Paul is also involved in the local business community, having been a financial advisor at AXA Advisors, and is currently the Vice President of Sports Development at VSP Graphics Group.

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